Movies That My Parents Can Watch

This picture has nothing to do with my parents...I just like it.

My parents don't watch R-rated movies...they just don't. And to be honest, I knew this and have known this for years. But something in my brain told me it would be a good idea to show them "The Usual Suspects"—a venture which ended very badly. I still think it's a glorious movie, but the mere mention of the film will incite arguments. Needless to say, I'm not pushing any Scorsese movies anytime soon...and, for the record, "Pulp Fiction" is definitely out for good.

But still, I find myself watching movies and commenting to myself, "They would like this." The "they" of the previous sentence, of course, refers to my parents (not just one, but the parental unit as a whole...for those wondering) and not to a group of unnamed scientists that was ambiguous in my college speech paper and cost me a letter grade...thanks, professor.

My father's favorite movies are eclectic: an avid science fiction reader, he loves "The Day the Earth Stood Still" (here again, I find myself having to clarify...he is referring to the 1951 sci-fi epic and not the 2008 Keanu Reeves remake) and "While You Were Sleeping"...a movie that is decidedly not science fiction, but I had to end this probably run-on sentence somehow. "A Beautiful Mind" almost made him cry on an airplane, and he never ceases to laugh heartily at "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure". But when he doesn't like something, he is scathing...perhaps that's where I get it from. He wasn't impressed with "Memento" and "Doubt" didn't do anything for him. His redeeming quality is that he loved "Inception", so I guess I don't have to murder him in his sleep.
P.S. I don't really want to murder my father in his sleep, it's called sarcasm.
P.P.S It's not sarcasm, it's hyperbole or something like that.
P.P.P.S Forgive me, Jenny Lawson for so blatantly stealing your style...I love you.

It's about this time when people look at me oddly and say, "Wow, you really like movies." Yes...yes I do.

Mom's movies are a little different. She likes the "Harry Potter" series and will tolerate "The Lord of the Rings", but only if we fast-foward through the orc making scenes. She likes "The Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, mainly because she likes Johnny Depp. So I wish I could show her "Sweeney Todd", but I know that wouldn't end well. Mom loses interest fast and is unashamed to admit that she watches some films just for the eye candy. She is also stubborn, when she thinks she's going to like a movie...she is going to see it and she will enjoy it! Period. End of story. It's this determination that led her to seeing movies like "Admission", "Parental Guidance", and "White House Down"; even though I warned her! To be fair, I think she liked the latter; but that's her prerogative.

So what movies do my parents like? Anything from "The Emperor's New Groove" to "Minority Report" (on both of these choices, I approve). But because of their unwavering stance on what they allow themselves to see (admit it, can you really fault them for this?), they miss out on so many good movies. (Note: I seem to use parentheses a lot (like really (quite so)))

They will not indulge in Malick as I do, nor will they be excited for the next Tarantino movie. Movies can be too boring for them, or too exciting. To properly see what they like, think like this: entertaining, but not taxing; exciting, but not thrilling; dramatic, but not gritty; full of action, but not graphic. On all counts, play it safe.

No language.
No sex.
No blood.
No gore.
No horror.

With this in mind, it's impossible to recommend hits like "Gladiator" or (oh my gosh, is he really going to do that?) "Oldboy"...which made me cringe. They can be turned off of a movie based on its title, which I think is bogus; but I'm stuck with them.

So I have started out on a quest to find good movies that are acceptable to them on all fronts. I should say that they are okay with some language, but usually they have a cut-off of more than 10 f-bombs.

My criteria for them: it has to be good, not just mediocre; entertaining; intelligent (on the flip side, completely mindless and fun is acceptable as well—though not preferred); evocative, but not heart-wrenching; funny, but not perverse; and well done. Any one, or a combination of all, would be acceptable.

I have thus made my search, and continue to look for movies that they can watch. This list includes movies that my parents might not have heard of. There is no particular genre.

Mom and Dad
Dad and Mom
I couldn't figure out which one of you to put first *awkward laugh*. Anyhow, I've made a list for you guys to watch...yes, I'm taking about movies. I may drone on a bit or be long-winded; but I just have a lot of words. 
You probably won't agree on all the movies—heck, you may not even like any of them; but I think that you should give them a try. They have been previewed and found acceptable. 
I hope you find it flattering that every time I watch a movie, I think of you guys.
We may not agree on what are "masterpieces"; but (and you'll only hear me say this once) life isn't always about movies. 
Still, if we are going to watch movies...these are the ones you should try.

I love you,


Movies That My Parents Can Watch:

Blue Jasmine
Good Night, and Good Luck.
La Jetée
Man on Wire
Manhattan Murder Mystery
Modern Times
Run Lola Run
Shattered Glass
The Impossible
The Thin Blue Line
To Have and Have Not

No comments:

Post a Comment